Wednesday, August 15, 2007
A Collection Of Some of My Recent Failed Attempts At Humor
#1:
Realistic Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so fat, she use your college fund to pay for her gastric bypass operation and now you gots to work at Circle K to pay for your tuition.
Yo mama so tired, she got big dark circles under her eyes and now the other mothers think she a mini-van driving heroin addict.
Yo mama so mean, she make you brush your teeth with toothpaste from China.
#2:
From The New Line of Attitude T's For Moms
Will Vacuum for Wine!
One Hot Housewife!
I Don't Know Who Their Father Is Either!
Two Beers Away From Showing You My C-Section Scar!
#3:
How Hot Was It?
It was so hot, I walked on some hot coals to cool off my feet.
It was so hot, I saw a menopausal woman spontaneously combust at Michael's Craft Store and set the yarn balls on fire.
It was so hot, my landscaping died, which is actually really sad because I spent a lot of time and money on it and you know, death isn't really a laughing matter even if it's just a hibiscus plant we're talking about, right?
#4:
Names of the Seven Dwarfs If They Lived in Austin in the Summer
Surly, Smelly, Rancid, Rashy, Homicidaly, Sticky and Doc.
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5 comments:
Boy - aka the more traditionally-named Seven Dwarf "Cranky" - will not leave me alone to read in peace, so we ended up sharing a big laugh over your Seven Dwarfs. Now I'm gonna go get him some Chinese toothpaste.
I love the heroine addict one. Classic! (because I sometimes wonder if folks think that about me, except I drive a Subaru Outback...and I'm not a lesbian...see my earlier post)
I stayed at oa hotel this week for a couple days. When I checked in, there was the usual items in the bathroom:
Shampoo, conditioner, skin lotion, mouthwash,... all in thise litte hotel bottles. I wondered where the toothpaste was, actually, then read the paper the next day about the whole toothpaste issue.
I filled out the "Please let us know..." card before I left, telling them that, "Everything was great, but the complimentarry toothpaste you left in the bathroom seemed a little off."
Somebody's gonna be in a panic :D
Thank you so much for sharing your 'failures' with us, Wendi. Here's a thought: if it's not a ton of trouble can you please just forward your future 'failures' to me? I'd be glad to take them off your hands, because ... well, I know some needy bloggers or something. Thanks so much.
- CG
And Snow White, of course, would be none other than Lesley!
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